Where do you find these?????  Sometimes if I read them while I'm at work I'm sitting there giggling to myself....one of my doctors is going to think I need medication

Or self medicating

LOL

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea, I don't know I have direct tv...

lol @  Darwin once ate an owl. It was a real hoot.

:-)

A blonde walks into a pawn shop...

Blonde: Can I buy that T.V. in the window?
Manager: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
The next day the blonde come to the pawn shop with a wig on.
Blonde: Hey manager, can I buy that T.V. in the window?
Manager: Sorry we don't sell to blondes.
Blonde: How did you know that I am a blonde?
Manager: Because that's not a T.V., its a microwave!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and

asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that

one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said,

'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch

dogs'!

There is a law on the books of Detroit, Michigan that states that Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.

`````````````````````

It is possible for any American citizen to give whatever name he or she chooses to any unnamed mountain or hill in the United States.

I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

(pun)

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what
they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dish washing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out
of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?

Very valid questions!!!!!!!!