It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the best time to do it.

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck.

"Please don't pick up, please don't pick up, please don't pick up." —What I feel when I call anyone, ever, for anything.

I hope the twenty minutes of watching fireworks is worth the 3 hours it took to find decent parking to watch the fireworks

I GET ENOUGH EXERCISE JUST BY PUSHING MY LUCK!

tHAT'S A GOOD ONE, I SAY THAT EVERYDAY WHEN MY DAUGHTER DRAGS ME TO THE GYM.

 

A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. -Lucille Ball

I hate being left out almost as much as I hate being included.

"I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par." --Chi Chi Rodriguez

Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine. To idiots.

LOL  @   I hope the twenty minutes of watching fireworks is worth the 3 hours it took to find decent parking to watch the fireworks


thanks for the smiles.
funny stuff!!

:-)