WORLD'S GREATEST COLLECTION OF CLEAN JOKES by Bob Phillips
a third grader went home and told her mother she was in love with a clasmate and was going tomarry him. that's fine said her mother, going along with the gag. does he have a job? the little girl replied. oh yes. he erases the blackboard in our class.
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a little boy never siad a word for six years. on day his parents served h im cocoa. from out of left field the kid says, this cocoa's no good. his parents went around raving. they said tohim, why did you wait so long to talk. he said, up till now everything's been okay.
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a man in a supermarket was pushing a cart which contained, amongother things, a screaming baby. as the man proceeded along the aisles, he kept repeating softly, keep calm, george.. don't get excited, george. don't yell, george.
a lady watched with admireation and then said, you are certainly to be commended for your patience in trying to quiet little george. lady, he declarted, i'm george.
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some people ask the secret of our long marriage. we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. a little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home. she goes tuesday, and i go fridays.
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mrs. jones was taken suddenly ill in the night, and a new doctor was called. aftger a look at the patient, the doctor stepped outside the sickroom to ask mr. jones for a corkscrew. given the tool, he disappeared but several miutes later was back demanding a pair of pliers. again he disappeared into the room of the moaining patient, only to call out again, a chisel and a mallet, quickly.
mr. jones could stand it no longer, what is her trouble doc. don't know yet. can't get my instrument bag open.
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