The schoolteacher was taking
her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the
instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where
you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Golf is what you play when
you're too out of shape to play softball.
Q: What do you call 1,000
golfers lined up on a pebble beach holding hands?
A: Pebble Beach Golf Links.
Why do golfers always carry
two pairs of trousers with them ?
Just in case they had a hole in one.
The only reason I play golf
is to bug my wife. She thinks I'm having fun.
You know it's too wet to
play golf when your cart capsizes.
Where can you find 100
doctors all at the same place on any given day?
"A golf course!!"
Two golfers were sitting at
the 19th hole discussing their games this year when one says to the other,
"
My game is so bad this year I had to have my ball retriever regripped !"
Whats the difference between
a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: WHACK..."D---"! A bad
Skydiver goes: "D---"!...WHACK.
What should you do if your
round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
Walk around holding your
1-iron above your head, because even God can't hit a 1-iron!
Do you know why there are 18
holes on a golf course?
Because that's how long it took the Scots who
invented the game to finish their bottle of whiskey!
Did you hear about the
golfer who got shot yesterday?
Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan.