Ewwww.  that horse  or something?   lol !!

:-)

10 Reasons Not To Jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is. 2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. 5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. 6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. 10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Number One Sport

A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight. The guide told her, "This is our number one sport." The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?" "No," the guide replied, "revolting is our number two sport."

New Bowling Rules

Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs". When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance. After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames. When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule. After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair". If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized. A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.

Sr.  :-)

10 reasons not to jog.  lol !!!

gee whiz!!!

LOL !!!!

i'm talking hilarious!!!!

HILARIOUS!!!!!

started me off laughing early today!!!

:-)

 

LOL !!!

funny stuff!!!

 


and on that "women driver's"  deal-y .....................   watch it  Mr. Man.
LOL !!!!!
just ask Mrs. Sr.    she'll tell ya!!

:-)

My brother came over to borrow the lawn mower, I told him she was still sleeping and try back in an hour

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."

Golf is what you play when you're too out of shape to play softball.

Q: What do you call 1,000 golfers lined up on a pebble beach holding hands?
A: Pebble Beach Golf Links.

Why do golfers always carry two pairs of trousers with them ?
Just in case they had a hole in one.

The only reason I play golf is to bug my wife. She thinks I'm having fun.

You know it's too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes.

Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?
"A golf course!!"

Two golfers were sitting at the 19th hole discussing their games this year when one says to the other,
" My game is so bad this year I had to have my ball retriever regripped !"

Whats the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes: WHACK..."D---"! A bad Skydiver goes: "D---"!...WHACK.

What should you do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?
Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even God can't hit a 1-iron!

Do you know why there are 18 holes on a golf course?
Because that's how long it took the Scots who invented the game to finish their bottle of whiskey!

Did you hear about the golfer who got shot yesterday?
Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan.

Not knowing the difference between patronizing and condescending is nothing to worry your silly little self about.