Tiger has a lot of fans here : - ))) I am one

i had lunch with a chess champion the other day. 
It took him twenty minutes to pass the salt.

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a golfer is playing a round with his buddies.   on the sixth hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to hit
six balls into the water.  frustrated over his pooor golfing, he heaves his golf cloubs into the water and
begins to walk off the course.
suddenly he turns around, jumps into the lake, and dives  under the water.  his buddies think he has
changed his mind and is going to retrieve his clubs.
but when he comes out of the , he doesn't have his bag or clubs.
as the wet golfer walks away, one of his ubddies asks, why did you jump into the lake>
the man responds, i left my car keys in the bag.

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one day dylan wolfe went to play @ a different golf course where no one knew him, just to get
away and see if he could do better elsewhere.
he hired a caddy to guide him around the course.  after another day of slices, duff shots, and misread putts, he was obviously upset.  he turned to the caddy and said, you know, i must be the worst golfer in the world.
no sire, the caddy comforted him.  i have heard there is a guy named dylan wolfe from across town who is the worst player in the world.

a fisherman accidentally left his day's catch under the seat of a bus. 
the next evenings newspaper carried an ad:  if the person who left
a bucket of fish on the number 47 bus would care to come to the
garage, he can have the bus.

dad:  what happened to your eye?

keith:  i was staring at a ball from afar,

and i was wondering why it was getting

bigger and bigger and then, it hit me.

Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

 

Ewwww.  that horse  or something?   lol !!

:-)

10 Reasons Not To Jog

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is. 2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. 5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. 6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. 10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.