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    • from my clean joke book....
  • 5/24/12
kudos to you, and I am still here too : - )))
  • 5/24/12
:-)

double ditto kudos!!!!

:-)
  • 5/24/12
Do we both love Tiger, and does that make us Tiger fans ? : - )))
  • 5/24/12
now.  you got me stumped on that one...............

lol !!!

:-)
  • 5/24/12
Tiger has a lot of fans here : - ))) I am one
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  • 5/24/12
  • To: All
  • 5/24/12
i had lunch with a chess champion the other day. 
It took him twenty minutes to pass the salt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a golfer is playing a round with his buddies.   on the sixth hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to hit
six balls into the water.  frustrated over his pooor golfing, he heaves his golf cloubs into the water and
begins to walk off the course.
suddenly he turns around, jumps into the lake, and dives  under the water.  his buddies think he has
changed his mind and is going to retrieve his clubs.
but when he comes out of the , he doesn't have his bag or clubs.
as the wet golfer walks away, one of his ubddies asks, why did you jump into the lake>
the man responds, i left my car keys in the bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


  • To: All
  • 5/24/12
one day dylan wolfe went to play @ a different golf course where no one knew him, just to get
away and see if he could do better elsewhere.
he hired a caddy to guide him around the course.  after another day of slices, duff shots, and misread putts, he was obviously upset.  he turned to the caddy and said, you know, i must be the worst golfer in the world.
no sire, the caddy comforted him.  i have heard there is a guy named dylan wolfe from across town who is the worst player in the world.

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  • 5/24/12
a fisherman accidentally left his day's catch under the seat of a bus. 
the next evenings newspaper carried an ad:  if the person who left
a bucket of fish on the number 47 bus would care to come to the
garage, he can have the bus.

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  • 5/24/12
dad:  what happened to your eye?

keith:  i was staring at a ball from afar,

and i was wondering why it was getting

bigger and bigger and then, it hit me.


Edited 5/24/12   by  underpartoday
  • To: All
  • 5/25/12
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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  • 5/25/12


 
  • 5/25/12
Ewwww.  that horse  or something?   lol !!

:-)
  • 5/25/12
10 Reasons Not To Jog
1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.

2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
  • 5/25/12
Number One Sport
A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.

The guide told her, "This is our number one sport."

The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?"

"No," the guide replied, "revolting is our number two sport."

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  • 5/25/12
New Bowling Rules
Supplemental Rules for Bowling

If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".

When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.

After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.

After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".

If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.

A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
  • 5/25/12
Sr.  :-)

10 reasons not to jog.  lol !!!

gee whiz!!!

LOL !!!!

i'm talking hilarious!!!!

HILARIOUS!!!!!

started me off laughing early today!!!

:-)

Edited 5/25/12   by  underpartoday
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  • 5/25/12




 

  • 5/26/12
LOL !!!

funny stuff!!!

 


and on that "women driver's"  deal-y .....................   watch it  Mr. Man.
LOL !!!!!
just ask Mrs. Sr.    she'll tell ya!!

:-)
  • To: All
  • 5/27/12
My brother came over to borrow the lawn mower, I told him she was still sleeping and try back in an hour