The pro says, "You should probably trying rolling your hands a little to the right to strengthen your grip."
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing or hunting instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing or hunting," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing hunting and golf .
#10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
#9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
#8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes, you miss the ball much closer now."
#7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."
#6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so, that would be too much of a coincidence."
#5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
#4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, but personally, I prefer golf."
#3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."
#2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
#1 Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective September 1,2011. This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2000 pages) is being rewritten as we speak.
Here are a few of the changes.
Golfers with handicaps: - below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%. - between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees. - above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play. The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:- handicaps below 10, no entitlements. - handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts. - handicaps above 18, if your ball is on green, no need to putt, just pick it up. These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring. In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again. The current USG A handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.