This is one of my all-time favorite golf jokes!!!! LOLOLOL

a man is locked in a room with no way to get out.  inb the room there is a piano, a baseball bat, a saw, and a table.  houw could he get out?

he could take a key from the piano and unlock the door.
he could take the bat and get three strikes.  then he'd be out.
he could take the saaw and cut ehe table in two.  then, by putting the two halves together, he would havbe a "hole" and he could get out that way. 
~~~~~~~~~~~

what gets wetter and wetter as it dries?   
a towel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jewish or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.

"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play.

The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus.

"Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!"

"No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."

Funny!

a little girl asked her mother for fifty cents to give to an old lady in the park.

her mother was touched by the child's kindness and gave her the required

sum.  there you are, said the mother.  but tell me, isn't the lady able to work

anymore?  oh yes, came the reply.  she sells candy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

on the way to preschool, the doctor let  his daughter look @ his stethoscope.  his

little daughter picke it up and began playing with it.  this thrilled the father as he

thought perhaps, one day she will follow in my footstteps and become a doctor.

but then he heard her as she spoike into the instrument.  Welcome to McDonalds.

may i take your order?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a store manager overheard one of his salesmen talking to a customer.  no sire, said

the salesman.  we haven't had any for a while, and it does not look like we'll be getting

any soon.

the manager was horrified and immediately called the salesman over to him.  don't

you ever tell a customer we're out of anything!  now, what did he want?a minister

Rain, answered the salesman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a minister got up on Sunday and announced to his congregationm, i have good news and bad news,.

the good news ism we have enough money to pay for our new building program.  the bad news is, it is still

out there in your pockets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a child was watching his mother delete email messages from her in box.  this reminds me of the

Lord's Prayer the child said.   what do you mean? asked the mother.  oh you know.  the part that

says deliver us from email.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 




 

cheeseburger eatin' cat.

lol !!

and the boat on the rock?

lol !!  how in the world.....?

:-)

Petey came home from school with another black eye.  have you been fighting again? his mother asked him.
i'm sorry, mom, he replied.  i told you the next time you lost your temper, you should count to ten. 
i did said peter.  but jimmy's mom told him to only count to five , so he hit me first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a little girl asked her motherm, can i go outside and play with the boys?  her mother replied, no you can't play with the boys.  they're too rough.   the little girl thought about it for a few noments and then asked, if i can find a smooth one, can i play with him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Or not