the preacher stopped in the middle of his pwoerful sermon to ask, who is "God, anyway?
from the back oif the church, a little boy said, God is a chauffeur.
why do you say that? asked the preacher
because, said the boy, he drove Adam and Eve out of the garden
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
the young couples sunday school class was stydying the story of Abraham and Sarah, who in
their nineties wre blessed with a child.   among other things, the teacher asked, what lesson
do we learn from this story?   a young mother of three who was having financial difficulties blurted, out they waited until they could afford it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
a father was teaching his son to admire the beauties of nature.  look son, he exclaimed, isn't that sunset a bveautiful picture God has painted?
it sure is Dad responded the youngster enthusiastically especially since God had to paint it with his
left hand.  the father was baffled.  what do yo mean, son?  his left hand?
well answered the boy, my sunday school teacher said that Jesus was sitting on God's right hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Jack and Chris.  the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.  their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.  
if Jesus were sitting here, he would say, let my brother have the first pancake, i can wait.
Jack turned to his younger brother and said, Chris, you be Jesus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a minister was visiting the home of a family in his congregation.  their little son ran in, holding a mouse by the tail.  don't worry mom, it's dead he reported.  we chased him, the hit him until....
just then he caught sight of the minister.  he lowered his voice and eyes and finished, .............. until God
called him home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a minister told his congregation, next week,  i plan to preach about the sin of lying.  to prepare you fo my sermon, i want you all to read Mark 17.  the following sunday, the minister asked all those who had read mark 17 to raise their hands.   most of the congregation raised their hands,.   the minister smiled and said, Mark has only 16 chapter.  i will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it was palm sunday and Mary's 4 year olf son stayed home from church with his father, because he was sick.
when his siblings returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what the branches were for.
his mother explained, people held them over Jesus' head as he walked by.
i can't believe it, the boy said.  i miss one sunday and Jesus shows up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

when the smith family moved into their new house, a visiting grandparent asked 5 year old Tommy how he liked the new place.
it's great, he said.  i have my own room, and Alex has his own room and Jamis has her own room.  but poor Mom is still in with Dad.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the manager is reviewing a potential employees applicaton and notes that the fellow ha snever worked in retail before.   for a man with no experience, he says, you are certainly asking a high wage.   well, sir. the applicant replies, the work is much more difficult when you don't know what you're doing.

Look A likes ..................... LOL







                 


       

That baby on the bottom is tooo cute for words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The screaming little girl looks like one of the toddlers that goes into the pediatrician's office next to ours and we can hear them screaming their brains out through the walls!!!!! 

 

they are so cute,

but look @ this precious one:  i just know he/she will be an actor!

       

 

  

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye was admitted to Oxford

University, and was now living in his first year of residence there.

His clan was very excited that one of their own had made it into the

upper class of education, but were concerned how he'd do in "that

strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit, with

reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal.


"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Oh, Mother," he replied, shaking his head sadly, "they're such

terrible, noisy people: The one on that side keeps banging his head

against the wall, and won't stop; and the one on the other side

screams and screams and screams away into the night."

"But Donald! How do you manage with those dreadful noisy English
neighbours?"

"Well, mother, I just ignore 'em. I just stay here quietly and keep

practicing my bagpipes..."

That's a good one!!!!   I know some people love bagpipes but to me its literally like chalk on a blackboard!  Sorry to any one who is a bagpipe fan!  Just my own opinion!

YOU CERTAINLY KNOW HOW TO SURF THE WEB AND COME UP WITH SOME GREAT STUFF!!!!!