HONEYBEE AT AGE 14  February, 1978



I wanted to share with you something that happened to me this afternoon while I was playing THE CAPTAIN AND THE KID CD while I was getting the meatloaf mixed to put in the oven. BLUES NEVER FADE AWAY came on and I was listening to the words and before I knew it, I was standing in the kitchen crying like a baby. I was thinking about my friends, Kandy and Sandy Buster who were twins and died in a house fire 30 years ago this weekend. It was a week before Valentine's Day when I got a necklace in the mail from her to wear and then we would see each other in the spring because she lived about three hours away from me. Kandy was born with disabilities and was small, with thin hair and had to wear strong glasses. She made up for all of that with her keen intelligence, wicked sense of humor, and love of books. She was my "soul sister."  A few days before they died, I was just standing there, and suddenly the necklace just broke. It didn't break at the clasp. It felt strange when it happened. The fire had been on Indianapolis news and I still didn't know about it. Mom finally called me into my bedroom at my grandparents house to tell me. When she told me they had died, it was so surreal and I screamed, "No! No! this is not really happening!" We both fell on the bed crying and shaking. Mom said Sandy got out, went back in the house to get Kandy who was still upstairs. The fireman found them near the window, one on the bed and the other on the floor. At the funeral, mom tried to put her around me, but I could not stand it! It literally felt like an electrical shock going through me. I have not been the same since. At the age of 14 years old, I realized anything could happen. I have not felt that much pain before or since. It changed me forever.

I feel this story can apply to all walks of life. There are some people who never experience very much pain or loss, while others have one tragedy after another. I have to say I wouldn't wish my pain I felt for my 15 year old friends for anything. I now find myself wanting to defend people who are very easily hurt by mean and hateful attitudes and spirits. I champion the misunderstood and the disadvantaged. I can't just sit back and tolerate the "brats in life" who don't know the first thing about being a compassionate, selfless person. I know there will be some here who will be irritated and say nasty things about this post, but my story is not the only one out there. I just try and learn from what life has shown me so far. Sometimes I feel like I'm still on that playground beating up boys who made fun of Kandy and made her cry. Some things never change.

I know this is a forum and I know I have spoke before from my heart and not my head. Lets all try and give each other a little more respect and love that we should have for our fellow forum members.  

I NOW STEP OFF MY SOAP BOX!

                                                                        HONEYBEE

                                                                      

DON'T WORRY ABOUT STEPPING OFF THAT SOAP BOX SWEETIE.  WE ALL HAVE OUR DIFFICULT TIMES.  HAVE SEEN ALOT MYSELF...MAINLY CANCER.  SURVIVED IT MYSELF.  YES, TIME HELPS BUT WE NEVER FORGET.  ELTON'S SONGS COVER SO MUCH OF OUR LIVES...HAPPY AND SAD.  THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! TAKE CARE.  CHERYL

"Lets all try and give each other a little more respect and love that we should have for our fellow forum members"

 

I don't say too much on the forum but "Well said".

Honeybee, I'm sorry about your dear friends.  Very sad.  I can understand what your friend that had disabilities must of gone through.  It is not easy.  I was born with Scoliosis which is a curvature of the spine, and I have hearing loss in my left ear as well as very poor eye sight.  I had lots of hard times growing up with people teasing me because of my problems and because I'm short.  I like to say petite.  Today, I have wonderful friends that also like me with disabilities and we have a great time.  So you keep thinking how wonderful your friend was and her great spirit.  By the way, you were a cute teenager.

Janel

I prefer the term "vertically challenged" myself. : )

Janel,

Thank you for your kindness. I carry with me the love and wisdom Kandy taught me. I believe my life mission is to help people, but sometimes I need a shoulder too. My sister, Julie developed Scoliosis after she was 20 yrs. old. She is 47 now. I know a little bit about it.

I am so happy you have good friends to lean on.  None of us know if someday we might be disabled and so we need not take for granted how easy we do have it. I understand the simple routines in life can be so hard if a person has disabilities.


Thanks again for your understanding and friendship. I have felt her presence since I wrote the original post. I like to think she is my guardian angel. That picture was taken not too long after Kandy and Sandy died. Me and Mom were staying at my grandparents house here in Indiana. What do you think of my big glasses? What can I say, the 70's!

                                                                         HONEYBEE